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A Hurricane is a Comin'

Today we received news that Hurricane Irma is headed straight for us and it expected to make landfall at a higher category than originally expected. The entire state is flipping out and apparently water is flying off the shelves, even in our northern city. I cannot lie and say I am not worried, I am very worried. But all we can do is prepare, not panic.

What I ate:

Breakfast: pancakes
Morning Snack: trail mix and applesauce
Lunch: BBQ chicken flat bread and Asian salad and cookie
Afternoon Snack: baguette
Dinner: Turkey Tom from Jimmy Johns

Daily Goals:

Reading:
Creativity: knitting baby blanket
Exercise: moving furniture and shopping

This September challenge is not going well... I ate a cookie today even though I knew I shouldn't. Without the Weekly Incentive Awards and the major challenge goal to look towards, it is easy to say yes to No-No Foods and skip daily challenges. If you have any ideas to combat this without draining my bank account, please post them in the comments!

As an introvert, I am feeling very drained from all of my activity as of late. The few minutes here and there have not been enough to recharge my batteries. I am constantly left feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I know tomorrow is cycling class but I might skip it just to have an hour or two alone in the house.

Having lunch with my friend today was very nice. But I realized today that my work is pretty much pointless. I also expected that my chosen career would make a difference in the world somehow. But it doesn't. I put into words the thought I have been feeling for over a year. "If I died tomorrow, my clients wouldn't even notice because anyone can do my job and the work I do doesn't really help anyone."

I am not suicidal, this is not a cry for help or an example of how often I think about dying. This is just me realizing that right now in my career, my work really is pointless. Sure I send out newsletters and troubleshoot websites and I guess that is kinda cool, but does it really help anyone? It helps sales people fill their pockets with money from companies who are better off using their budget to impact their community. That is who is helps. Do I do anything challenging at work? No, I do the same boring tasks day after day. I resize pictures and update distribution lists. I calm down coworkers who make four to five times more than me while they freak out over the possibility of loosing a few dollars in commission. I spend my day pretending to like those around me, pretending to be engaging in stimulating work, pretending that I am not disappointed in myself for holding such a pointless job.

I am not just sitting back doing nothing. I have been trying to better myself since I first realized my life lacked direction and purpose about four years ago. Since then I have received my MBA, landed my current job, opened and closed two small businesses, and purchased a house. Everything I do is in an effort to improve my life, lose weight, gain happiness, and make a difference in the world. But after four years of fruitless toil, I am just tired. I have no idea where to go from here. That was the purpose of this holistic challenge, to evaluated my life, body, and spirit. But so far, I am failing and that isn't helping.

Over and Out,
The Girl with IBS

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